


Good Will Hunting

by Sab



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: (Uploaded by Punk), Episode: s04e15 Hunters, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-02-20
Updated: 1998-02-20
Packaged: 2017-12-04 02:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/705597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sab/pseuds/Sab
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Janeway's single. (Uploaded by Punk, from alt.startrek.creative.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Will Hunting

**Author's Note:**

> This is my response to the J/Tu challenge, combined with my own indulgent desire to clear up any misgivings after seeing the ep "Hunters."

"Want a cuppa?"

Spreading her hand in the direction of the silver tray, Kathryn Janeway flopped down on the couch, the coffee in her hand sloshing over the rim of its cup.

"Mm," Chakotay nodded assent, pouring himself a cup and sitting beside her. "You drink too much of this stuff."

Janeway cackled. "Coffee: the greatest organic suspension created by man. Coffee's gotten me through some of the toughest times I can remember. I beat the Borg with coffee."

"Mm," Chakotay said again, not sounding convinced. He took a sip, searching her face for evidence of the effects of the day's events. "The crew is taking the destruction of the relay pretty hard. I think they were beginning to expect mail call to be a regular part of their day. Neelix has planned an impromptu party to try and get their minds off of it."

"When?" a smile broke out across Janeway's face.

"As soon as he can get it organized," Chakotay said.

Janeway sucked her teeth, grinning. "Just leave it to Mr. Neelix to come up with the right idea at the right time!"

Chakotay nodded, took another slow sip from his cup. "How are you, Kathryn?" His voice reeked concern.

She waved a hand. "Oh, I'm fine," she said.

"You'd say that even if you'd just had both your legs chopped off," Chakotay shook his head. "It's hard to believe, even for you, today. The ship just barely survived a quantum singularity, we almost lost two officers, the relay was destroyed, we've made _another_ enemy that wants to kill us, and..."

"You can say it," she said. "I got a 'Dear John' letter. I have to admit I'm upset by it. It _has_ been four years, I'm glad he's moved on -- I expected it -- but I guess I didn't really let myself believe it. I kept clinging to Mark, using him as a safety net so I wouldn't have to think about finding another relationship."

"You don't have that safety net any more," Chakotay said, taking a breath and refusing to meet Janeway's eye.

"Not that I've had much time for a relationship these past four years even if I'd been looking for one," Janeway put in quickly. "But it has been --"

"Neelix to the ready room," the Talaxian's voice over the comm interrupted her thought. "The party's started, and there are only two people missing."

"We're on our way," Janeway replied. Rising, she extended an arm to Chakotay, who took it. They started for the door.

"Lonely," he finished her last thought. "I know."

"Sometimes," Janeway shrugged. "Usually I'm too busy to think about it."

"There's plenty of time," Chakotay said.

Janeway stopped just short of the ready room door. She placed her hand on Chakotay's shoulder and matched his gaze. "Chakotay," she said.

"Yes, Kathryn?" his eyes widened eagerly.

"You know that you and I could never get involved, right?"

//Say it, Chakotay!// he willed himself. "I don't know if I believe that," he said finally.

She sighed, tipped her head to one side and blinked up at him, her expression all pity and affection. "Oh Chakotay," she said. "You have been _invaluable_ to me these past four years, as a first officer and colleague...and a friend. And -- even aside from the fact that it would be a vast breach of protocol -- I'm not willing to jeopardize our working relationship. Not for anything."

"Not even if it meant we might be even closer?" Chakotay was slipping.

Janeway shook her head. "I'm sorry, Chakotay. Please understand."

His heart sank. "Of course," he managed a chuckle. Mustering what he figured was his best platonic smile, he turned back to face Kathryn. "Well, may I at least escort you to the party?"

She winked. "Absolutely," she said, linking her arm through his. "I would be honored."

***

The mess hall was buzzing warm, the crew more than eager to put the implications of the day's happenings behind them. Janeway swelled with affection and pride, watching them mingle, gossip, dance. Even her fosterling Borg was engaged in conversation with the Vulcan engineer --what _was_ his name? -- recovered completely from her encounter with the "fishmongers." That, naturally, had been Tom Paris' nickname for the aliens, an homage to their preference for "gutting and boning" their victims. Finishing her drink, Janeway sidled up to Seven, gave her shoulder a squeeze.

"You okay?" she asked, knowing the reply already.

"I am intact," Seven nodded as the Vulcan engineer slipped back into the crowd after an awkward salute in Janeway's direction.

"Good to hear," Janeway said. "So how are you enjoying your first party?"

"I did not understand the purpose of such a gathering," Seven admitted, "but Lieutenant Tuvok explained to me that humans frequently desire the opportunity to socialize in groups and exchange information with crewmembers they might not encounter in their normal routine. Since you do not possess a collective consciousness, it is logical to engage in these sorts of events, as a way to communicate with the entire crew at once."

Janeway laughed. "And as a way to relax! Yes, we come to parties to see people we don't see everyday, but we do it because they're our friends, we enjoy spending time with them!"

"I have never had friends," Seven stumbled a bit over the word. "I'm afraid I do not understand."

"You have friends now, Seven," Janeway said. "Look around. You have a lot of friends aboard Voyager. Including me." //It's true,// Janeway realized with surprise. //I may be drunk but I'm not delusional. I like this Borg girl.//

Seven scrutinized the captain for a moment. "You consider me a friend?"

"Yes I do," Janeway said. "I don't know you very well, but I'm beginning to. And I would be proud to call you a friend."

"Then why are you refusing to meet my eye?" Seven asked.

//Oh shit,// Janeway looked up, transferred her gaze quickly from Seven's chest to her face. //Quick cover-up time, Kate.// She chose honesty. "Seven. You may not realize this," Janeway took a breath, "but you are a very attractive woman. You've been turning heads ever since you came aboard this ship."

"Beauty is irrelevant," Seven furrowed her brow. "I do not understand why my mammary glands are significant. You have mammary glands as well --" Seven shot Janeway's breasts a look. "Are mine more...attractive than yours?"

//Here's a question I never thought would come up in my lifetime,//Janeway flushed. //They didn't cover Borg sexuality at the Academy.//"Well," she said, "I don't know the answer to that question, Seven. I suppose it's a matter of opinion." //Off the hook?//

"And what is your opinion?"

//Nope, no such luck.// Janeway chuckled. "I look at my own breasts all the time," she began. //Oh. Great. _There's_ a mental image I want circulating my crew: Captain Janeway looks at her breasts all day long.// "What I mean to say is, yes, Seven. I do find you attractive, and I do enjoy looking at your body. Breasts included." //Done. _Whew_.//

"I do not understand," Seven shrugged. "I suppose I will learn."

"Yes, I suppose you will," Janeway smiled.

"Shall we proceed to consummate?" Seven asked. Janeway jumped.

//How did we get _here_?// "Well, I don't think that would be appropriate," Janeway said, putting on her best captainly expression and pulling herself to her full five-foot-seven.

"This is quite perplexing," Seven said. "You have just admitted that you find me attractive. Why should you not want to realize that attraction?"

//Yes, Kate,// Janeway's face was hot, //why not? You're single now, you've just written off poor Chakotay, why the hell not?// "Because there's more to a relationship than just sex," she said finally, "and there's more to sex than simply attraction."

"This makes you uncomfortable," Seven said, cocking her head to one side.

"Frankly, yes. I'm sorry, Seven. I'm just not used to putting things so baldly. Can we...change the subject?"

"As you wish," said Seven, without missing a beat. "The shockwave that destroyed the relay network blew out several EPS links in Astrometrics. They will need to be repaired."

//Better,// Janeway grinned. "Ah. Very well. Ask B'Elanna if she can spare some technicians to give you a hand tomorrow."

"Yes, Captain," Seven said. She paused for a minute, peering at Janeway through discerning Borg super-eyes. "Permission to speak freely?"

//I thought this was over,// Janeway bit her tongue. //This will definitely go down in my personal log as one of the weirder days on record.// "Yes," she sighed. "What is it, Seven?"

The Borg opened her mouth to speak when Janeway felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to meet Tuvok's gaze, and she flashed him a grateful smile.

"Excuse me, Seven," he said. "I require the Captain for a moment."

"Of course," Seven nodded once. She turned on her heel and disappeared into the throng.

Janeway collapsed against Tuvok's shoulder, barely stifling a laugh. "How did you know I needed a rescue!"

"I witnessed some uncomfortable body language on your part," he said. "I know that you and Seven-of-Nine have had difficulties in the past, and I sensed your desire to conclude the discussion. Tell me, was she expressing unhappiness regarding your decision to have me accompany her in the shuttlecraft today?"

Now Janeway allowed herself a laugh, throwing her head back. "Oh, if it were only that simple!" she slapped Tuvok lightly on the chest. "No, no, I'm afraid our discussion was wandering into far more...delicate territory."

Tuvok waited for the Captain to elaborate. She clicked her tongue, looked at the floor.

"Sex, Tuvok," she said, shaking her head. "She somehow got me talking about sex. I don't know what it is about tonight..." she trailed.

"Yes, Captain?" Tuvok raised his eyebrows expectantly.

She shook her head again, raking her fingers through her hair. "I don't know what Mr. Neelix put in that drink, or if it's just the fact that I got that letter from Mark, but tonight..." she looked up and met his eyes, tipping her head to one side. "You're my closest friend, Tuvok. We've known each other a _long_ time. Hell, you're the only one aboard who's met Mark, who knows our history..."

"You miss him," Tuvok reported.

"Yes," she said. "I really do. But it's more than that. For the first time in four years, here, among people I'm proud to consider friends, among this family that I love more than my own life, I am lonely. I'm lonely, Tuvok. I can't explain it any better than that."

If Janeway didn't know her friend better, she'd swear Tuvok was blushing. "Captain," he said. "Kathryn. I believe I understand how you feel. The emotions I experienced during Ponn Farr could only be likened to loneliness. I missed my wife, but, even beyond that, I felt an intense desire -- as you know -- for intimate relations. Sex."

Now Janeway blushed. "Yes," she murmured. "I'm embarrassed to admit it even though I know it's perfectly human, but I'm hungry. I'm desirous. Oh, I should just go home and go to sleep and put this whole, awful day behind me!"

"That would not be advisable," Tuvok said. "You have gone without sexual relations for four years, and I believe that such a deprivation can only serve to wreak havok on your emotional state."

"So what would you suggest I do?" she snorted. "Go sling an arm around Seven's shoulder and tell her it's time to consummate?"

"Yes," Tuvok nodded, "that would be one approach. But perhaps not a logical course of events, considering Seven-of-Nine's already fragile state, and the precarious relationship you two maintain."

"I wasn't serious," Janeway said. "I would never do that to her."

"That is not a logical statement either," Tuvok said. "'Never' is a long time. We cannot predict how things will turn out over the next several years."

"True," Janeway said. "And I'm doing a damned good job reclaiming my virginity as it is. I'll cash in some replicator credits, indulge my fantasies a little and end the evening with a cold shower. I'll be fine."

"I cannot allow you to do that, Kathryn," Tuvok said softly. "As your friend, it is my responsibility to help you in this time of need. We have both been alone for a long time. That need not be the case."

Janeway bit her tongue and nearly yelped. "Tuvok, this is ridiculous. Granted I'm more than a little drunk tonight, but I will not exploit you just because I got a 'Dear Kate' letter and I'm lonely."

"I am lonely too, Kathryn," he said. "I believe our friendship is strong enough to survive a physical encounter, and I see no logical reason to avoid intimacy."

"Sex," Janeway said again, getting the word out onto the table. "You're suggesting we have sex."

"Precisely," Tuvok said.

//Tonight is not the night I mate for life,// Janeway thought. //I'm not looking for a partner, or to start another relationship so soon. But, damn it, I am lonely, I _am_ hungry, I need this.// She stared at Tuvok a moment, letting her eyes trace the ascetic contours of his familiar face. //Chakotay is a good friend, a great officer, but I refuse to lead him on. Seven is attractive, appealing in more ways than one but she'll have to acclimate completely into human culture before I even think of complicating our relationship. But Tuvok. My dear, old friend. Why not?// "Well, I'll be damned," Janeway said. Throwing up her hands, she cracked a wide grin. "Why the hell not?"

"There is no logical reason," Tuvok repeated. "Now, I believe the traditional question is -- your place, or mine?"

Slipping her arms around his waist and hugging him to her, Janeway laughed. "Come on over and see my etchings," she said, kissing his clavicle.

"Etchings?" he repeated in puzzlement, as she gently nudged him toward the door.


End file.
